'Our Home'

India, Goa, Bogmalo Bay - 'Our Home'

Our Home - Bogmalo Bay, Goa

I slept next to Fatima to the left.

   So India was an important trip for myself to take. When i was a little fella coming back from school, and running around the house without a care in the world, there was a special woman in my life who used to take care of most my simple needs. Naturally you would assume this to be my mum, but i had another mum! my Indian mum, her name was Fatima Parera and she was the nicest person i knew. I loved this woman from Bombay so much i even started saying i had one English mum and one Indian mum :) She used to call me Marcalloo! not many people know about that name apart from my brothers. So Fatima was a huge part of all of our lives.

Changed the curtains in the background. 

I went to India to specifically see Fatima and take care of her for a week, which doesn't cover for all the years she looked after us but it was something that i had to do.

Unfortunately Fatima broke her back 12 years ago and was unable to walk for the rest of her life. Despite this she was always as cheerful as ever, we talked for hours about life, travel, the early days before the accident and food! She was a big foodie, pretty much her day revolved around organising her next meal. Our favourite meal together was the mutton curry with butter and garlic naan. Delicious! :) Naturally i indulged in the local culture and ate with my hands.

These hands cared for three sons.

Fatima and Reshm - best friends talking.

Getting Fatima in the Ambulance to go to Vasco. (town near by)

Visiting the market with Fatima.

Going for a walk with Fatima in the coconut plantation.

Local fishing boat.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Most of my time was spent tending to Faitma's basic needs, like doing the washing, taking it outside to hang on the wall or the line. Had to keep a weary eye on the weather as it was monsoon season so about every 30 mins i was running out to get the washing again and stuffing it into a bucket, running back inside.

Cleaning was a big part of the day, making sure she had new bed sheets, cleaning the fan (you would be suprised at the dust collected) and sweeping the floor, washing the bathroom with a hand held scrubber, cleaning marks off the walls, re-organising her cupboard so everything was neat and easy to get to. Her whole life pretty much was in one single cupboard.  

I really wanted to paint the room a sunny yellow colour but Fatima wouldn't have any of it. I said "what if sab (dad) told you he was going to paint the room!?" .... "i would say no problem!" .... "but you are my son and you do as your told!" haha how could i argue with that!

On two occasions Fatima and i went into town as a means of getting away from the home and spending the day together, once to Vasco and another time to Morgo. Getting Fatima into the van is no easy task and actually took alot of energy out of her but i think the fresh air was good for her. Hell it was good for me too!

It was always interesting walking around with Fatima, she had this sort of matriarch status within the village. She was always called mother or auntie, even by older men and women in the village.  

Taking Fatima for walks was one of my favourite times, especially if it was a good day! We would walk down the beach on the road and she would sit and watch as i went swimming in the breaking waves. But again she got tired quite easily, i think the main cause of this was because of her bed sores on her bum which was causing a fever.

So you know when you have been sitting on a plane for a long time and your bum starts to hurt ... well imagine sitting down for 12 years!
Her sores were quite bad and a nurse would come in the morning and i would help role Fatima on to her side while she changed the gauze and cleaned the sores with iodine.

On Sunday the Navy come around with cake to celebrate. It doesn't have to be a birthday, they just pick someone and say its their birthday.  It's a really friendly gesture that allows the patents to get together listen to music, dance, and play instruments.

haha! Very displeased Fatima trying to buy coriander.

Sadly after I left I got a call from Dr. Karla the head doctor saying Fatima had given up and had been taken to hospital with stomach pains. I'm not entirely sure of the details but Fatima passed away on the 8th of October 2012. The news was a shock to the family but i can't say i didn't see it coming, and there is at least  closure to know she passed peacefully in her sleep.

 This blog is in loving memory of Fatima Parera, you will be deeply missed and in our memories and hearts for forever.



With love Dm. Ford